Welcome to the Closet: A Tribute to the WB’s Queer-Adjacent Icons

In the last piece, Queer Vibes, Zero Representation, we unpacked how WB-era shows like Dawson’s Creek, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, Everwood, and 7th Heaven created small towns bursting with queer-coded energy; yet somehow forgot to include actual queer characters.

Now it’s time to go deeper. Welcome to The WB Queerbaiting Hall of Fame: a lovingly bitter roundup of characters who practically screamed “I’m not like other boys/girls” and whose storylines would’ve made a lot more sense if the writers had just let them be gay.

Gilmore Girls

Michel Gerard – French, fabulous, hates everyone. Obsessed with Céline Dion and hotel towel counts. Amy Sherman-Palladino finally confirmed he’s gay off-screen, but after seven seasons of sassy side-eyes and “I don’t like children,” we deserved to see him at a gay bar.

Lane Kim – Punk rock drummer forced to hide her band posters under her floorboards. Had more chemistry with every girl she played music with than either of her actual boyfriends. Raised in repression, rebelled with eyeliner. Bi-coded from the first crash cymbal. Deserved a queer girl band tour, not Zack.

Paris Geller – Hyper-competitive. Emotionally intense. Would 1000% have ended up in a messy situationship with a Yale girl named Astrid. The way she looked at Rory? Not straight. Not once.

Luke Danes – Repressed masculinity in a backwards cap. Luke Danes was flannel-clad emotional constipation personified. Grunting, grumbling, dodging feelings like it was cardio. Okay, daddy! And tbh the diner energy was always giving “emotionally unavailable man in love with his routine.”

One Tree Hill

Brooke Davis – Loud. Flirty. Loyal. Wildly insecure. Bi-coded down to her soul. Every meaningful female friendship was tinged with a dash of yearning. She invented bisexual icon energy in a backless top.

Peyton Sawyer – Black eyeliner, The Cure, tortured art about girls. That’s the whole queer starter pack. Her emotional closeness with Brooke and detachment from every male relationship? Classic closeted chaos.

Mouth McFadden – The sweet soft boy who always got friendzoned by girls and had suspiciously strong bonds with the jocks. Don’t tell me he didn’t try to kiss a boy once at a sleepover.

Everwood

Bright Abbott – A loveable himbo who was confused about everything but weirdly tender with Ephram. That episode where they share a vulnerable hot tub moment? Let’s just say... we saw it.

Ephram Brown – Sensitive artist, always emotionally intense with his male friends, never quite connected to his girlfriends. Wore scarves. Played piano. Had deeply repressed “I’m-not-sure-what-I’m-feeling” vibes. He read Rilke. Enough said.

Dawson’s Creek

Pacey Witter – Emotionally fluent. Handsy with Dawson. Called himself “the romantic one” in their friendship. The man radiated chaotic bisexual energy from season one.

Joey Potter – All that pining and overthinking? That wasn’t about boys. That was about being confused. The chemistry with Jen alone could’ve carried a queer spinoff.

Jen Lindley – Former wild child with a tragic backstory and a heart of gold. Queer-coded to the core. Died to teach straight people a lesson. Deserved to kiss Joey under the stars and live forever.

7th Heaven

Ruthie Camden – Baby gay. You know it. I know it. She knew it. She just wasn’t allowed to say it out loud because the house would’ve combusted.

Simon Camden – That boy spent way too much time agonising over things that didn’t matter and dodging commitment. Definitely kissed a boy in youth group and never mentioned it again.

Lucy Camden – Full of drama. Constantly needed to “talk about her feelings.” The closeted energy was screaming from her butterfly clips.

Smallville

Lex Luthor – Obsessively fixated on Clark. Wrote him love letters with his eyes for six seasons. Said “I care about you” with trembling lips and a single manly tear. If Lex wasn’t bi, then I don’t want realism.

Chloe Sullivan – Journalistic obsession with Lana. Grew up in a WB era where being emotionally codependent with your best friend meant you were just “quirky.” She wasn’t. She was in love.

Lana Lang – Seemingly perfect on the outside, deeply repressed inside. Repeatedly sabotaged straight relationships and had way more chemistry with Chloe than any man she dated.

We didn’t imagine it—we were just too early for the canon. These shows may have locked the closet door, but we saw the cracks. And now, with a little hindsight and a lot of gay rage, we’re flinging it wide open and giving these characters the queer arcs they always deserved. Retroactive representation? Hell yes. Justice for every emotionally intense hug and longing glance on The WB.